What is a spiritual awakening?

If you would have asked me a few years ago what a spiritual awakening is, I would have said, discovering you have a psychic gift, seeing spirits, or perhaps even a near death experience. It had to be dramatic and other worldly to prove the existence of the ‘other side’.

Since my own awakening in 2020, I see things a bit differently and I think that perhaps my experience may be quite common.

It was during the covid pandemic, I was turning 40. The perfect time for a midlife crisis perhaps. I was looking for purpose and meaning. What is a midlife crisis if not a chance to awaken to the possibility of there being more to life. Some people would rather deal with this midlife crisis, by spending money on extravagant things, getting a sports car or maybe even having an affair in a bid to find that thing that’s missing from your life, but if you just take the chance to look inwards you might start to find the answers.

My journey of healing and self discovery started very simply, with a book that I read, one rainy day while I was waiting in the car for my son to finish football training. We weren’t able to watch them training, due to covid restrictions, so I took a book that I had recently bought after watching a facebook interview with the author.

The book was The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I read the book and it resonated so deeply with me, it felt as though a veil had been lifted and I was able to see things clearly for the first time. From this moment on, I deep dived into all things spiritual. I found an amazing podcast (Highest Self Podcast) and listened to hundreds of episodes, as I went on a hunt to find my purpose in life and connect with my intuition.

Along the way I believe that I did receive signs from my guides that led me to train as a hypnotherapist. This was something that was absolutely terrifying for me, as someone who has always been painfully shy, this was such a leap of faith for me to take. I came to the conclusion that we are all here for a reason, to learn and grow and overcome challenges. My biggest challenge in my life, was my low confidence, shyness and social anxiety. If I could overcome this and help others to do the same, how amazing would that be?

So, even though I believe that this was a spiritual awakening that set me on the path I was destined to be on, I always downplayed it. Who am I to say I have had a spiritual awakening? I’m not psychic, I haven’t had a crazy out of body experience that has rocked my world. It was just me, following the breadcrumbs with the belief that they would lead me to where I need to be.

Now I realise that spiritual awakenings are simply your awareness expanding, they don’t have to be big or loud or dramatic. They can be very slow and happen over a number of years and you will probably have more than one awakening. My first awakening, was the realisation that I am here for more than looking after everyone else. As a wife, mum of two and a chronic people pleaser, I was always making sure everyone else was ok but putting myself and my needs to the bottom of the pile. I realised that I am here for a reason, I have my own purpose to pursue and that its ok to do this and put myself, my goals and my dreams first sometimes. Awakenings are a chance to move on from an old identity that no longer serves us and step into a new version of ourselves.

If you find yourself questioning your life, I urge you to stop looking for external and material things to fill that hole. Take some time to sit quietly and look inwards. Start to follow the breadcrumbs of things that light you up and bring you joy. Start putting yourself first sometimes. Start believing that your dreams can become a reality. You only live once, why not start creating the life that you want.

Why do I feel anxious?

In order to get our anxiety under control, it is helpful to understand what anxiety is and why we can experience it.

The primitive part of our brain, that our ancestors were using to live and survive their day to day lives is always trying to protect us and sometimes it over reacts. This is the flight, flight, freeze area of the brain. When our primitive brain thinks that we are in some kind of danger, whether real or imagined, it will always respond with the primitive reactions of anger ‘fight’, anxiety ‘flight’ and depression ‘freeze’.

When our ancestors were out hunting, this anxiety response was helpful to keep us on high alert and always on the look out for any wild animals that could attack. This response is still helpful to us, if we find ourselves in a dangerous situation to keep us on our toes and give us the adrenalin and cortisol needed to help us prepare for action and make a quick exit if needed. This response can cause our heart rate to increase, stomach churning, getting hot, sweaty and shaky.

What causes chronic anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural reaction that can be helpful to us at times. So what causes it to go from a helpful reaction to something that is unhelpful and can sometimes control our lives, making us feel trapped, stuck and living in fear.

Our cycle of negative thoughts, worrying about the future and ruminating fills up our ‘stress bucket’ and creates anxiety. It is the way we think about situations that causes the anxiety, not the situations themselves.  When our stress bucket is full or overflowing from our day to day stressors then we will be working from the primitive part of the brain, in survival mode and anxiety can take over.

A highly stressful or traumatic childhood, or a history of traumatic events can cause us to constantly be on high alert. This is when we need to reconnect with our bodies and learn to self regulate so that our bodies can learn that they are safe.

How can I manage anxiety?

The good news is that over thousands of years, we have evolved and developed the intellectual part of our brain, which enables us to make sensible decisions and rational assessments of situations. If we can engage our intellectual mind, we will find that our anxiety lowers and we will find it easier to deal with day to day life.

Emptying our ‘stress bucket’  is the most important step in lowering anxiety and engaging the intellectual mind. We naturally empty our stress bucket each night while we sleep during REM sleep. When our stress bucket is too full or overflowing, the mind will keep waking us up because of the amount of energy used to process the anxiety in our sleep.  This is where hypnotherapy can help. Hypnosis is a contrived state of REM sleep. Listening to a hypnosis recording or having a session helps to process anxiety and empty your stress bucket.

Becoming aware of your negative thoughts will help you to stop filling up your stress bucket so quickly. Everyone has negative thoughts sometimes, but if we can be aware of these unhelpful thoughts, we can stop ourselves attaching to them and spiraling into more negativity. Solution focused hypnotherapy is great at helping you retrain your brain to focus on the positives instead of the negatives.

Learning to accept and even welcome your anxiety is much more helpful that trying to run from it or pretend it doesn’t exist. Remind yourself that this is just your brain trying to protect you. Say hello and thank that part of you for what it is trying to do for you. You can even name it or give it a colour or shape to make it feel less worrying.

If you have been feeling extremely anxious, then moving your body can help to make use of excess stress hormones. This could be going out for a brisk walk, running on the spot or even shaking your body as animals do after a stressful event.

Learning to self regulate is essential in order to tell your body that you are safe. If you practice some calming techniques when you are not feeling anxious, it will be even more effective when you are feeling anxious. EFT tapping, breathwork and mindfulness are a few simple ways that you can calm your mind and engage the intellectual part of the brain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anchoring is the process of associating an internal response or feeling with an external trigger. This allows to you to quickly access a feeling.

The trigger may be a sound, image, touch, smell or taste to trigger a consistent response in you or someone else.

Anchoring in a feeling is something that we all do with each other all the time. It starts when we’re babies and your mum rocks you to sleep while possibly singing or talking to you. Over time, that feeling of being rocked with the sound of your mums voice, anchors in the feeling of comfort and sleepiness.

When your child falls over, you pick them up, give them and hug and use a comforting tone of voice. As that happens throughout their childhood, you are anchoring in that feeling of security. Even as they grow up and go through difficult times like a first heart break, your voice will still make them feel better and feel like they will be ok.

We all have anchors without even realising. It may be the smell of perfume that brings back the feeling of a particular time in our lives, or a particular song that makes us feel like we’re back at a festival again and gives us goosebumps. We might have a particular chair that we sit in that we have anchored a feeling of relaxation into. We can also have negative anchors that can bring back a feeling of panic or fear.

We are anchoring feelings unintentionally all the time. We can also intentionally anchor in a feeling that will be helpful to us.

Towards the end of my sessions with clients, I like to give them an anchor for confidence and calm. All we need to do is elicit the emotion, set up a physical anchor (often a finger and thumb held together) and use a particular trigger word.

Any feeling that you can elicit, you can create an anchor for. This could be for fearlessness, determination, joy, love, peace.  You can even anchor a feeling into an object so that you feel confidence when you pick up the phone. For sports performance you can anchor the feeling of focus or being in ‘the ‘zone’ when you put on your football boots, pick up your hockey stick or put on your helmet.

Anchoring is a great technique to use with kids and we can use it covertly without them even realising.  Wait until they are in a state of calm or happiness and when you see them in this state, place your hand on their shoulder and say a word to them. If you do this over a period of time, eventually you will have anchored that feeling into that touch and that word.

So, why not give it a try yourself. The next time you’re in a really good mood, remember to anchor it.  After doing this a number of times, when you’re not feeling so good, you can use the anchor and trigger that feeling.

What are limiting beliefs?

We all have a belief system. Things that we believe to be the absolute truth in life. These are beliefs that have developed over time since childhood. We learn these beliefs from watching our parents and family as we grow up. By listening to the way people talk to us and treat us. We also learn these beliefs through our own experiences in the world, both good and bad. These beliefs grow and develop throughout our lives. They form part of our subconscious program, which is responsible for 80-90% of our decision making each day. The core of our subconscious program is created by the time we are 7 years old.

Some of these beliefs will be positive and helpful for us, such as “I deserve love” and “I can succeed”. Others can be negative and limiting for us, such as “I’m not good enough” and “I can’t trust others”. These can limit our progress in life and stop us from doing what we want to do and achieving the things that we want to achieve. These are our limiting beliefs; they are often fear based and can sometimes act as a protective mechanism to protect us from pain.

How to spot a limiting belief?

You may notice a phrase that keeps coming up repeatedly for you in certain situations. Such as “I don’t know what to say” when you meet someone new or “I’ll never be wealthy” when you think about your future or your finances.

Noticing these thoughts that repeatedly come up is the first step to changing your thought patterns. If you have resistance to certain situations, sit with it and think about why there is that resistance and what the thought is behind it.

You may have a specific goal or something you are trying to achieve but you notice that there is something holding you back. Or perhaps you notice you seem to be unintentionally sabotaging your efforts to succeed. This could be when you are trying to lose weight, starting your own business or even having a romantic relationship. Journaling around these issues can be really helpful to get to the bottom of what is holding you back and finding out what the limiting belief behind it may be. The limiting belief could be something like, “I’m not safe if I lose weight” or “I’m not good enough to start my own business” or “I’m not lovable”.

What can we do to change these limiting beliefs?

Once you have identified a limiting belief that you would like to change, write it down and ask yourself, is it true? Is it true that “I don’t deserve love”, is it true that “I’m not clever enough”. Start looking for evidence to support the fact that this belief is not true. Write down this evidence.

Most beliefs are placed on you by someone else or perhaps because of a specific event that really confirmed this belief to you. If you are aware of where this came from, then you can work on that memory in order to calm down the emotion attached and view it from a relaxed, detached perspective. Hypnotherapy can really help with this process.

Replacing the old belief

Now you need to create a new belief to replace the old one. Choose a new belief that you can find evidence to support. Your subconscious must be able to believe it. So, for example, if you don’t feel confident in any way, then a new belief of “I am the most confident person in the world” might not sit right straight away. Instead, you could start with a belief of, “My confidence grows day by day”, “I know I can become that confident person that I really am” or “I am open to becoming more confident every day”. Start to look for evidence to support your new belief.

You can also choose a positive affirmation to support this and write this down somewhere you will see it throughout the day. This could be something like “I am calm, confident and in control” or “I can do anything I put my mind to”. Repeat this affirmation before bed, when your brushing your teeth. You can even set reminders in your phone to repeat it to yourself throughout the day.

Start to observe yourself and your thoughts. Notice the times that your limiting belief comes up and replace it with your new belief. Be patient and keep going with this process. Limiting beliefs that we have held onto for many years do not always change over night. It can take time and persistence.

Starting to be aware of your limiting beliefs is half the battle in overcoming them. Most people are not even aware that these beliefs exist. They are on auto pilot, moving through each day as their subconscious has programmed them to do. Being aware that you can choose to feel and behave differently, that you can reprogram your thoughts and beliefs is incredibly empowering. You are not your beliefs or your thoughts and you do not have to live by these old beliefs that are holding you back.