What are limiting beliefs?
We all have a belief system. Things that we believe to be the absolute truth in life. These are beliefs that have developed over time since childhood. We learn these beliefs from watching our parents and family as we grow up. By listening to the way people talk to us and treat us. We also learn these beliefs through our own experiences in the world, both good and bad. These beliefs grow and develop throughout our lives. They form part of our subconscious program, which is responsible for 80-90% of our decision making each day. The core of our subconscious program is created by the time we are 7 years old.
Some of these beliefs will be positive and helpful for us, such as “I deserve love” and “I can succeed”. Others can be negative and limiting for us, such as “I’m not good enough” and “I can’t trust others”. These can limit our progress in life and stop us from doing what we want to do and achieving the things that we want to achieve. These are our limiting beliefs; they are often fear based and can sometimes act as a protective mechanism to protect us from pain.
How to spot a limiting belief?
You may notice a phrase that keeps coming up repeatedly for you in certain situations. Such as “I don’t know what to say” when you meet someone new or “I’ll never be wealthy” when you think about your future or your finances.
Noticing these thoughts that repeatedly come up is the first step to changing your thought patterns. If you have resistance to certain situations, sit with it and think about why there is that resistance and what the thought is behind it.
You may have a specific goal or something you are trying to achieve but you notice that there is something holding you back. Or perhaps you notice you seem to be unintentionally sabotaging your efforts to succeed. This could be when you are trying to lose weight, starting your own business or even having a romantic relationship. Journaling around these issues can be really helpful to get to the bottom of what is holding you back and finding out what the limiting belief behind it may be. The limiting belief could be something like, “I’m not safe if I lose weight” or “I’m not good enough to start my own business” or “I’m not lovable”.
What can we do to change these limiting beliefs?
Once you have identified a limiting belief that you would like to change, write it down and ask yourself, is it true? Is it true that “I don’t deserve love”, is it true that “I’m not clever enough”. Start looking for evidence to support the fact that this belief is not true. Write down this evidence.
Most beliefs are placed on you by someone else or perhaps because of a specific event that really confirmed this belief to you. If you are aware of where this came from, then you can work on that memory in order to calm down the emotion attached and view it from a relaxed, detached perspective. Hypnotherapy can really help with this process.
Replacing the old belief
Now you need to create a new belief to replace the old one. Choose a new belief that you can find evidence to support. Your subconscious must be able to believe it. So, for example, if you don’t feel confident in any way, then a new belief of “I am the most confident person in the world” might not sit right straight away. Instead, you could start with a belief of, “My confidence grows day by day”, “I know I can become that confident person that I really am” or “I am open to becoming more confident every day”. Start to look for evidence to support your new belief.
You can also choose a positive affirmation to support this and write this down somewhere you will see it throughout the day. This could be something like “I am calm, confident and in control” or “I can do anything I put my mind to”. Repeat this affirmation before bed, when your brushing your teeth. You can even set reminders in your phone to repeat it to yourself throughout the day.
Start to observe yourself and your thoughts. Notice the times that your limiting belief comes up and replace it with your new belief. Be patient and keep going with this process. Limiting beliefs that we have held onto for many years do not always change over night. It can take time and persistence.
Starting to be aware of your limiting beliefs is half the battle in overcoming them. Most people are not even aware that these beliefs exist. They are on auto pilot, moving through each day as their subconscious has programmed them to do. Being aware that you can choose to feel and behave differently, that you can reprogram your thoughts and beliefs is incredibly empowering. You are not your beliefs or your thoughts and you do not have to live by these old beliefs that are holding you back.